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earlymorningechoesLast year I set my Goodreads challenge to sixty books, which felt very small to me but was apparently very large to most people I talk to. I read sixty-one books to completion and a variety of others that I didn't finish fully, for whatever reasons I had at the time.
This year, I didn't set a reading challenge. I know it's only January and I could set one later, and I very well might. But I didn't set one at the beginning of the year, because reading was making me really, really sad, and I only realized why yesterday in my therapy session.
cw: grandparent death
My grandma loved to read. It was one of her favorite things to do, one of the things that I was always proud of having in common with her, one of the things they mentioned specifically in her obituary.
She's gone now. Reading is hard because it reminds me of her on every level, even if I don't notice. But it's worth pushing through, because it's part of me too, an important part of me that makes me feel safe and happy and confident in my own mind.
I've finished three books this week. It's been a different experience than it usually is, but it's also been deeply the same. It's part of my backbone. And part of my grandma's. And I miss her, and I'll keep missing her, but I'm going to read, and it's going to be okay.
This year, I didn't set a reading challenge. I know it's only January and I could set one later, and I very well might. But I didn't set one at the beginning of the year, because reading was making me really, really sad, and I only realized why yesterday in my therapy session.
cw: grandparent death
My grandma loved to read. It was one of her favorite things to do, one of the things that I was always proud of having in common with her, one of the things they mentioned specifically in her obituary.
She's gone now. Reading is hard because it reminds me of her on every level, even if I don't notice. But it's worth pushing through, because it's part of me too, an important part of me that makes me feel safe and happy and confident in my own mind.
I've finished three books this week. It's been a different experience than it usually is, but it's also been deeply the same. It's part of my backbone. And part of my grandma's. And I miss her, and I'll keep missing her, but I'm going to read, and it's going to be okay.
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